not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
