I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
