I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
