i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
