It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
