Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
