You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
