Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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