Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
