So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think people are normalizing furries
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
