Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize