There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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