capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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