Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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