i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
