and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
