Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
