I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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