we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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