i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
