I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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