Plan B is the new Plan A
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
