She is in my trunk
I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I am morally bankrupt
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
