He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
