Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
BRING THE BAGELS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize