my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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