I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
