I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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