I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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