I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize