Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
