C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
