i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
As shirtless as possible
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
