I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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