Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
