Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Are my feet made of real feet?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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