pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
