I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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