Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
