How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
