It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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