Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
