Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
