We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
