This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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