Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
