she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
