He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
