what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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