It's like God shit irony all over that family
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
