She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
