If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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