I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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