dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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