come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
